


Damn it, Casey!

by bavarian_angel



Series: Leap Of Faith [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Accident, Angst, Episode Related, Hospitals, Hurt Kelly Severide, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25842238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavarian_angel/pseuds/bavarian_angel
Summary: What if that jump into the river had turned out different?
Relationships: Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Series: Leap Of Faith [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888021
Comments: 15
Kudos: 78





	Damn it, Casey!

**Author's Note:**

> My first CF fic *hides* Also not the best writer, but maybe somebody will enjoy this.  
> For the sake of this story, Casey and Dawson are already splitting up in season 6.

The moment Casey heard the words over the radio, he knew that he had to go and help Severide. It was already a crazy plan, but he sure as hell wouldn’t leave his friend alone up there, even if the Chief would rip them a pair of new ones for this afterwards. And as soon as he found Severide on the roof, Casey knew it had been the right decision. But even with the two of them, they could just hold the valve, but not close it. At least it gave their team enough time to get everybody out of the building. However, when the _all clear_ came from the Chief, it showed that their banter about a recommendation for Severide had just been a distraction from the dangerous situation they were in.

“So what now?”

Casey’s mind was reeling. He needed to find a way to get them both off this roof as safely as possible - and in the worst case, at least make sure that Severide would survive this. When he became aware of the river right behind the building, he quickly calculated risk versus insanity and knew that they had to go for it.

“Come on, get ready. Count of three.”

“This is insane...”

“Let’s go. One, two...”

“Damn it, Casey!”

“Three!”

They let go of the valve together and ran over to the edge of the roof. Right in the moment when they jumped, Casey felt the heat of the explosion in his back and only a moment later he was submerged in the icy water of the river.

Fighting against the heaviness of his turnout gear, Casey felt the rush of relief when he reached the surface and took in a deep breath. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the familiar red vehicles of 51 appearing on the shore, but right now he was just looking out for Severide, wanting to have a laugh with him about their crazy stunt. But his colleague and friend was nowhere near him.

“Severide!”

The call outs from his colleagues drowned out in the loud rush in Casey’s ears when he finally laid eyes on the other man. However, all thoughts of laughter died in his mind, while his chest contracted painfully as he realized that Severide was floating unconscious and face down in the river.

“Kelly! No!”

Ignoring all calls from his Chief to come to shore and out of the water, to leave the rescue of Severide to his colleagues, Casey fought the current of the water and pull of his drenched turnout gear to get closer to Severide. The cold wetness from the river water on his face was soon mixed with hot tears as Casey tried to swallow down the waves of guilt when he finally reached Severide’s unmoving body. After all, it had been his idea to jump...

Coming up with the last bit of his strength, Casey turned Severide over. His skin had already turned into a pale bluish color and Casey fought any thought in his mind that he looked more dead than alive. Because this couldn’t be real... This had to be some kind of nightmare...

The next few moments passed in a blur. Casey hadn’t really noticed that they had put Capp into a harness and had swung him over to them. He simply couldn’t take his eyes off Severide and despite Capp’s reassuring words, he didn’t let go of him even when they had all been secured to the safety snap link of the harness.

“Kelly... Come on... Open your fucking eyes, Severide!”

Casey’s words were frantic, but there was no reaction from Severide. As soon as they reached dry land again, they were lowered carefully, Cruz already waiting to stabilize and unhook his Lieutenant. Casey wanted to help, wanted to be there, wanted to make sure that his crazy idea wasn’t what had hurt Severide, but he was quickly held back by a strong pair of arms.

“Don’t, Matt. Let them work on him.”

The Chief’s words were ringing in his ears while somebody - and he had no idea who - draped a blanket around his drenched body. Casey knew however, if it hadn’t been for Boden’s strong grip, he probably wouldn’t have been able to keep standing on his feet, while he watched Dawson and Brett start working on Severide’s unconscious body.

“I got no breathing sounds... Pulse- Shit, he’s in cardiac arrest! Brett, atropine! Cruz, compressions! Going to intubate.”

The close circle of firefighters around the scene had fallen completely silent as Cruz rushed forward and started chest compressions where they had already ripped open Severide’s turnout gear.

For Casey it was like he could feel every single one of those pushes on his own chest, unable to breathe himself. Somewhere behind him, somebody desperately tried to cheer Severide on, somebody else mumbling a prayer to a God who might not be listening in this moment.

“Damn it, I can’t get it in. Brett, I need you to push his larynx upwards or I can’t get the tube in... okay, got it. Bag him! Guys, we need to get him into the ambo now! Cruz, keep going!”

From one moment to the other, everybody sprung into action. Only moments later, they had Severide on the gurney and in the ambulance. The last thing Casey saw of him before the doors of the ambulance closed, was his body shaking with the compressions Cruz was still performing on him. As soon as the ambulance took off, the siren making his whole body tremble, Casey collapsed, the Chief no longer able to keep him upright.

“Come on, Matt. I’ll take you there in the SUV. I want you to get checked out as well. And don’t forget, Kelly’s way too stubborn for something like this to get to him.”

~*~

Despite Boden’s wishes to get checked out in the ER, Casey had only managed to change into some dry clothes before he settled into one of those uncomfortable chairs in the waiting area. He knew that he wouldn’t be joined by the rest of truck and squad any time soon as their shift was far from over, but the chief had mad it clear that he didn’t expect Casey back - not as long as they didn’t know that Severide wasn’t out of the woods yet.

It had only been minutes after the Chief had left for the station when Dawson, Brett and Cruz appeared in the waiting room. Casey wanted to rush over to them, shake them and question them for any kind of information, but the dull expression on their faces told him enough. They slowly walked over to him, Dawson sitting down on the empty chair next to him.

“They’re still trying to stabilize him. I’m so sorry, Matt,” Dawson said in a low voice, reaching out for Casey’s hand. But he immediately pulled back, not even looking at her.

“Don’t fucking touch me...”

For a moment, the small group fell silent. In the last few weeks, the fallout between Dawson and Casey had been a constant topic at the house, but somehow it felt strange to see it come up in these kind of circumstances.

“Just... just leave me alone, please...”

“Not leaving, Captain.”

Cruz had gone down to his knees to be able to meet Casey’s eyes, asking a silent question, before Casey managed to answer with a soft nod.

“We’ll tell, Boden,” Brett mumbled as she pulled up a slightly shaken Dawson and soon Casey and Cruz were the only ones left. Minutes dragged on like hours. With every passing moment, it became harder for Casey to breathe. He tried to tell himself that somehow no news were good news.

“It was my idea to jump, you know...”

Casey could feel Cruz’ eyes on him, but he didn’t manage to turn around.

“Captain, if it hadn’t been for you and Lieutenant Severide, we wouldn’t have managed to evacuate the building. And if you hadn’t jumped... both of you wouldn’t have made it-”

“Casey?”

Halstead had just appeared in the waiting area, immediately walking over to the two firefighters. Casey was about to jump up, but Halstead pointed at him to stay seated. Grabbing another empty chair, the doctor pulled it over to sit with Casey and Cruz, the look on his face serious.

“Is... is he...?”

Casey just couldn’t finish the question, but he needed to know.

“He’s alive.”

Letting out a long breath, Casey dropped his head into his hands, feeling Cruz’ strong hand rubbing his back.

Halstead waited until Casey had managed to get his breathing under control again and had wiped his face from a few stray tears.

“I’m hearing a but...”

“Well, yeah... We managed to stabilize Severide, pulse and BP are in a normal range. At least considering all circumstances. However, so far he hasn’t shown any signs to breathe on his own again...”

Cruz cursed as Casey just looked at Halstead, not really knowing how to react.

“So... what now?”

“We moved Severide to ICU. We have to see how his condition holds up over the next 24 to 48 hours. As well as... Casey... Severide has you down as emergency contact as well as medical proxy.”

Casey stared at Halstead, unable to process his words for a moment. Of course, Kelly was his best friend - in some weak moments in the very back of his mind he might dream of him as more - but he had always thought that he had put back his parents in those positions after Shay had died...

“Due to the cold water shock and the cardiac arrest, we don’t know how long his brain has been without oxygen. So, if there’s no change after 48 hours, there need to be some tests to be run and maybe some decisions to be made.”

Casey knew what Halstead was talking about. He had seen enough in his career to know what lack of oxygen could do. But he was not ready yet. Not yet...

“I need to see him...”

“Of course.”

~*~

If there was one positive thing about seeing Severide lying in that bed in ICU, surrounded by machines and monitors, it was that his skin didn’t have this blueish color any more. But otherwise, this felt wrong. Kelly Severide lying still like this felt wrong.

Casey slowly sat down next to him, at first not knowing what to do. A part of him wanted to scream at him to wake up and stop this charade, another part wanted to crawl onto the bed and break down crying.

Instead, Casey carefully reached for Severide’s hand, making sure not to touch the needle in its back. It felt so soft and warm.

“You’ve been right... It was insane... but I didn’t see another way. And I just needed to get you off that roof.”

For several minutes, Casey just listened to the steady rhythm of the ventilator and the heart beat on the monitor.

“I had no idea... Why me? You know that I’m not good with such things... You know how much and how often I question my decisions...”

Swallowing down the upcoming tears, Casey reached up and let his fingers slowly stroke over Severide’s stubble grazed cheek.

“So don’t put me into that position, Kelly, please. Wake up. Wake up and come back. To me.”


End file.
